Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
