I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
