there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I party with great urgency now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
