Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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