It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize