I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Drunk is not a location!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
