you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
