it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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