I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
