I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
