I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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