He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
