why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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