My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
