____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
