she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
