so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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