i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
