Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i need some magic done to my vagina
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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