I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
