No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
