so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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