So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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