STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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