My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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