We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize