We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
