I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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