i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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