I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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