He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
