My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We are all done wearing pants today
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