Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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