if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
