Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
