Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
NoShamevember. You game?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
