Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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