If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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