So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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