Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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