It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
