You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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