I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
