so that wasnt chicken after all
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
