a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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