Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize