i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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