I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize