Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
