So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
