I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
