i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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