That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
