I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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