i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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