I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
