It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
