i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
