i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
