hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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