My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
