Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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