Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
