you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dick very happy bro
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
