im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
