closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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