WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They took my balls.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
