a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize