Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
