Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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